Wondering what your sex life would be like during the nine months of pregnancy? Scared about how you’ll react to her changing body?
Will pregnancy be a turn-on or will your sexual appetite fade away because of your own insecurities? Well, things are much less scary when you have a better idea of what to expect.
But can I?
Yes, yes and yes. Dads to be needn’t be freaked out – the baby cannot feel what you are doing, and neither will it affect the baby in any way. The baby is protected in the amniotic sac. Having sex during pregnancy would appear to the baby as just more exercise. And, as we all know, exercise is VERY good for mom-to-be.
No, this is not just an excuse, it is actually true. Her body is using a lot of her energy reserves to make your baby, causing chronic tiredness. Extra progesterone can also be to blame for her sleepiness in the early stages. How to handle it? Rub her feet while she sits back and let her fall asleep – there really isn’t much more you can do. Wait it out, it does get better eventually for most woman, and of course men…
Whoa, where did that come from?
Hyper sexuality, yes it can happen. Her new pregnancy hormones can also have the opposite effect of sleepiness – it can increase her sexual appetite and energy levels. And because of an increase in blood flow, she will be sensitive in all the right places. Dads to be can also experience a peak in libido, as most men feel even closer to their partners after ‘accomplishing’ pregnancy.
Wait it out
Let’s see, most women are paste, anxiety-ridden and extremely emotional for their entire first trimester. By the time the second trimester arrives most worries and hormones have evened out and a hint of a libido may return. But take advantage of this quickly, as the third trimester brings with it swollen feet and an uncomfortable belly and insecurity around her changing body.
Keep it clean
Remember, almost anything can nauseate her, and it is best for your sex life that you are not the cause of that. See, her extra estrogen sharpens her sense of smell, making her more sensitive to any odours. So here’s a great tip: Keep it natural. Don’t use scented soaps and steer clear from heavy deodorant etc. It won’t do any dad to be any favours to mask a slightly sweaty body odour with some deodorant. Ask her to be honest about what works and what doesn’t. Try out a series of soaps, aftershave and deodorant until you find one she likes.
Boost her confidence
Insecurity rules in most women’s hearts when it comes to their bodies during pregnancy. Understand this: they have been fighting a bulging belly for their entire lives up until this moment, and now all of a sudden have to embrace a look that would normally have sent them running to the first diet clinic. A lot of reconditioning needs to happen to make her truly accept her body. She will need a lot of reassurance from your side. And don’t just say it, act on what you say. Initiating sex can help calm fears that you are not attracted to her new body.
On the other hand, your mom to be might feel super sexy with her new curves, and find the fact that you’ve created a life together a huge turn-on.
Either way, enjoy her fuller breasts and hips.
Acknowledge that her body is changing and adapt accordingly. Making a few minor adjustments can ensure a pleasurable experience for the both of you. Positions to consider: with her on top, from behind with her resting in a comfortable position like spooning. Missionary position is out from month five onwards as major blood vessels can be put under pressure by the increased weight of the uterus, and, apart from that, it will be extremely uncomfortable.
But if the doctor says so…
There are some instances in which the doctor would actually advise against having sex, such as a placenta previa, history of early labour or miscarriage, bleeding, dilated cervix or cervical insufficiency. These could be harmful to your baby or to the mommy to be, so it is best to steer clear of sex till the doctor advises otherwise. Find other ways to explore each other’s bodies together, like when you were an exploring teenager.
In conclusion, the best advice that you can get is to communicate. As with all changes, talking and listening your way through it is key. You can overcome anything if you do it together.