Having a baby is a joyous occasion, but if both partners are not careful, it can put a lot of stress on the relationship. Some women will even experience postpartum depression after giving birth. Episodes of this depression, however, usually last only for a short period of time for most women. The baby is also an added challenge to juggling schedules, activities, appointments, and daily routines that were previously done without even having to think about it.
If you want to keep your relationship unscathed by the arrival of a new baby, there are certain things that you have to consider. You should bear in mind that once the baby goes through all the developmental stages to adulthood, you and your spouse only have each other. Therefore, by nurturing the years leading up to that milestone is very important to your marital existence. Mothers are naturally the nurturers and so it is instinctive for her to want to spend more time with the baby, who of course, is too helpless to function alone.
However, each spouse needs quality time with each other to survive those formative years that the baby has in relying on their care. Keeping to weekly date nights is one way to keep the spark in the relationship. Have one of your family members; possibly a grandparent, sister, or sister-in-law to come over on the date night and baby sit, but make sure it is someone that you can trust or you will be calling every few minutes while on the date to check on the baby and spoil your date. Try to avoid doing that. Arrange the date in advance and choose a location that will bring back memories to you and your spouse.
If you are the male in the relationship, bring home flowers for your wife to show her how much you appreciate the time she spends with the baby. Most men forget to do so and take the woman for granted. Some women forget about their spouse and engross themselves into the baby. Leave a note under each other’s pillow expressing your love for each other. Take showers together while the baby is sleeping. Make it a slow and intimate occasion.
When the baby is between one and two years of age or when you feel comfortable enough, make plans to spend a night a few miles away at a hotel as if you were just meeting each other. Arrange to meet each other there instead of leaving from home together. It makes it more interesting and will build up the anticipation and eagerness to see each other.
There are many other things that you can do to nourish and nurture your relationship. Try to give each other as much attention as possible. You can even wait until the baby goes to bed and have a glass of wine together by the fireplace; gazing into each other’s eyes and finishing up the night in close intimacy. Time alone and away from the baby is not something to feel guilty about. It is essential to keep your love ignited and on fire.