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Stepping Stones For Step Parents

Step parentingWhen a child’s parents split up, it is difficult enough. But when one parent then remarries and brings a step mom or a step dad into the picture, life can be even more chaotic and upsetting.

The children, even if they are not your biological offspring, need to be placed first. The common mistake often made is that the step parent comes into the single-parent family and tries to adopt the role of the missing biological parent.

It’s a big step to join an -instant family and one that often brings much heartache to all concerned. That’s why it is imperative that whoever you are in that family, you play your role well. In other words, if you are a mom or a dad, play mom or dad. If you are a step parent don’t try to be a biological mom or dad to your step children, just stick to the role of step parent. It may not be mom or dad but it’s a vital position in the family.


Many roles can merge

Many children have a number of influential people in their families – parents, grandparents and step parents. With all these figure heads, the child or children can actually gain hugely if the adults all stick to their roles. In fact, it can be very beneficial for the children.

As a step parent, gain your step children’s respect, but always remember you are not the biological parent and therefore there are limitations to your role. But if you play your cards right, you may just be the parent your step child feels more comfortable turning to when seeking advice on delicate issues. It’s not uncommon for this connection to become very strong.

But the secret is to start slowly. Relationships need time to grow. During the early days it’s important that you don’t rush things but rather let the relationship between you and your step child evolve naturally. Especially at this stage, patience wrapped in a blanket of love, is the best way.


Kids want mom and dad

Mostly, no matter what the age of the child is they all secretly long for the day their natural parents get back together. So don’t be insensitive by openly displaying strong connections with the child’s natural parent in front of him.

Try to get along with your partner’s ex. This one may be difficult but if they too have the child’s best interest at heart, and are confident that you, as the step parent, are not trying to take over their role, then the child will benefit in many ways.

Even though you are not a biological parent, try to initiate family outings. If the situation calls for it, have weekly round-table meetings where members of the family can all voice problems as well as the good things that have happened during the course of the week. But keep this meeting light and responsive so no one starts dreading it before it even begins. Once the initial major issues have been dealt with, this could be the start of a fun family tradition.

As you should find time to spend alone with your step child, also remember that your spouse needs alone time with their child, too.

Step families can work extremely well, especially if all adults are on board, so make the effort, for the sake of your step child.

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