For You

The Mother Of Decisions

Mom's decisionsFrom the moment pregnancy has been confirmed, moms will step up to the plate and start thinking for two. To make the right choices, mothers will spend endless hours (and many sleepless nights) pondering, researching, listening to advice and once a decision has been made, the decision is second-guessed and reassessed and the process starts from the beginning!

The common choices that moms will need to make, include, what type of birth is best for them – c-section or natural, if natural – home or hospital birth, and then they’ll need to figure out the perfect name, that will suit their unborn child. Once born, the choices need to be made fast and furiously, breast or bottle feed, dummy or no dummy, toweling nappies or disposables, return to work – stay at home, crèche or nanny, and the list goes on.

The fact is that moms will never stop second-guessing every decision which concerns their child and they will continually question themselves (question their abilities) and above all will always want to make the choice that will work out best for their child.

In the toddler phase, mom will decide what preschool or playschool their precious son or daughter should attend. Should they follow an organic diet,  what time should bedtime be, how many hours a week should they watch TV? What toys will help increase their vocabulary, should they be taking multivitamins? From conception to birth and beyond, the choices are never-ending!!

If an acronym was to be made for the word -MOTHER’, it could certainly be Minder Of Tomorrow’s Heroes – Extraordinary Really. As moms, we are tasked with raising the heroes of tomorrow, we will be tasked with ensuring their nutritional needs are met, they receive a good education, and they are happy, they are confident and they are healthy!

Luckily most of the time, mothering comes naturally and by some marvelous wonder of nature, moms will quickly learn to recognize their baby’s cries and will respond to them appropriately, they also know exactly what works for their baby and they know that if all else fails – love will conquer all and hugs and kisses will make scrapped knees feel a whole lot better.

Therefore even though moms will need to become a decision-maker and make an infinite number of choices for their unborn child, their infant, their toddler and their preschooler – moms always know what’s best!

But just in case you are uncertain about a decision that needs to be made, here is a guideline to help moms who are struggling to make that all important choice of the day (be it to have a c-section or to give birth naturally (at home):

Keep it real: Be true to yourself and listen to your heart. You know what is best for you and your baby.

Keep it simple: As moms, we tend to over complicate issues – mothers see problems that aren’t there and anticipate things that will probably never come to pass.

Be prepared: If you are about to make a major decision and are overwhelmed, do some research. Listen to the stories of other moms, chat to friends, talk to professionals and make an educated decision that will work for you.

Have the courage of your convictions: Own your decisions! Don’t let others convince you otherwise, or try to change your mind, as a mom, you need to be firm about the choices you have made and stand your ground when needed. If your mom or mother in law implies that your decision to go back to work is selfish and brands you a bad mother, stand firm on your decision.

Listen to advice – but don’t take everything to heart: From the moment you announce your pregnancy to the world, a string of people (some known and some complete strangers) will freely dish out advice on pregnancy, childbirth and childcare. These well-wishers who simply want to share their gems on knowledge mean well but at the end of the day, how they gave may not be right for you. Without a doubt, moms who have experienced childbirth, will prove to be allies and fantastic sources of firsthand information and knowledge and may give out the best advice (again, the choice to use it, is yours).

You will make mistakes: Although kids don’t see their moms as being humans (but rather like super-humans with amazing senses, such as supersonic hearing and x-ray vision), you will make mistakes and you may often make the wrong choice. At the end of the day, you need to get up and dust yourself off! Learn the lesson and move on!

Mothers come in all shapes, sizes, ages and colours – yet we are bound by a common thread and that is an overwhelming love for our children. We have the extraordinary ability to take charge of a situation when needed (even make a split second decision), give hugs, kisses and cuddles which are powerful remedies for tears and broken hearts and we are also able to transform, with little warning into roaring lionesses when our children are threatened or in danger. Despite all our amazing talents and abilities, we all too often feel that we are inadequately equipped for motherhood, that we are not able to make the right decision.

Moms – give yourself a pat on the back and show your confidence in every decision and choice you make and will need to make. If the decision you make today is based on love, it will in all likeliness be the perfect fit for you, your unborn baby, your toddler, preschooler, etc. Remember that the choices will never end and once children are in the best school that you could afford and find – the time will come to make choices for a teen, who is wise beyond their years, far more knowledgeable and knows what best for them (or so they think) and again, moms will step up to the plate and guide their teens through the turbulence of adolescence!

All in a day’s work of being the -Minder of Tomorrow’s Heroes (quite) Extraordinary Really!’

 

 – Kathy

 

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