Coping With a Miscarriage

Coping With a MiscarriageA miscarriage is when the fetus is expelled from the uterus before it is able to live on the outside. Any spontaneous pregnancy loss that occurs during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy is considered an early miscarriage. It is very likely that you are feeling sad, depressed or angry, if you have recently experienced a miscarriage yourself. Although you may not necessarily feel this way, Mother Nature had a reason for terminating the pregnancy.


Miscarriages are common

Late miscarriage is often more difficult to deal with. Since at this stage, many parents had already set their hopes high on their developing baby. The pain may be amplified if this isn’t your first miscarriage.    Later miscarriages (between the end of the first trimester and week 20) are typically due to maternal health issues, the condition of the uterus or cervix, or problems with the placenta rather than because of fetal abnormalities. It’s possible that what you and your practitioner learn from this experience can help a future pregnancy last to term.

According to statistics, early miscarriages are really common. One in five pregnancies end this way, and experts believe that every woman will miscarry sometime during her reproductive years. Many women experience a miscarriage before they even discover that they are pregnant.

More than 50 percent of miscarriages that take place within the first 12 to 14 weeks occur because the embryo was defective in some or other way. Perhaps the fetus was unable to implant in the uterus, or it may have been significant chromosomal abnormalities. Whatever the reason, the embryo was unable to develop normally.

Below are some things to remember, that may help you to cope with your loss.


It’s not your fault

Just remember it is not your fault. Talk to your partner about the loss and give yourselves time to mourn. Even if you feel physically fine, take some time off work.  Sometimes even if you think you have finally accepted and dealt with your loss, you may have waves of sadness on some days. The most likely, is the day when your baby was meant to be born.


Find a support structure

Try and talk about your experience with other people when you feel ready. You will be surprised to find just how many stories you will hear from strangers, but also colleagues, relatives and friends. Don’t expect to get over your loss quickly. Some bereaved parents find comfort in talking about the child they could have had, or occasionally looking at their baby scans.

If you need more structured help, ask your doctor for a support group that they can suggest. Some people also opt to see a counsellor.


Honour your baby

You may feel a little strange doing this, but it is a good idea to actually say goodbye to your baby. This may mean by writing a letter addressed to your unborn child, or sometimes you may be able to physically do this.


The grieving process

Allow yourself to go through all the stages and feelings of the grieving process. These include:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Guilt
  • Depression
  • Acceptance


When can we try again?

Having a miscarriage doesn’t always mean that you’ll have problems to conceive. This could be true if you’ve had three or more miscarriages in a row. But even then, you could still get pregnant in the future. According to statistics, three out of four women who’ve had reoccurring miscarriages have gone on to give birth to a healthy baby.

However it is best to wait until you and your partner feel emotionally and physically ready. It is a good idea to give your body a chance to have two or more periods. This will also make it easier to determine when you have missed a period.


Am I likely to miscarry?

Women in their mid thirties or over are more likely to miscarry than women in their twenties.Additionally, certain uterine abnormalities, genetic or immune factors, and having certain diseases or disorders such as diabetes, lupus, or low progesterone may also contribute to a miscarriage. But being young and perfectly healthy women can also miscarry.

Smoking, drinking and using drugs while pregnant can also increase a mom’s chances of having a miscarriage. Some studies show that high levels of caffeine consumption also increase chances of a miscarriage, as well as some environmental toxins and medications.

This can happen to anyone, and it is very likely that it has happened to people close to you. That is why talking to someone is really helpful.


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